Promises

“I promise, I’ll be good”
I wrote it with colorful crayons, the more colorful the more reliable, on a letter to be sent without stamp.
“I’ll be good, I swear”
And it was a box wrapped by polypropylene silhouettes of Santa telling me I had been so.
Even if I stole the bracelet of Barbara that afternoon…? I found myself wondering.
Yes. It was so easy.

Now there is no mail to deliver. Nobody would bother reading it.
“I swear I won’t do it again”
But it is in my mind only. A mantra repeated countless times.
5 am, I find a piece of paper and a pen almost used up.
“It won’t happen again” I carve it in between the lines.
If I write it down, it feels like I am not talking to myself only.

And then I folded that paper
and wrapped myself in wool and cotton,
the disguise of myself
nobody could have ever recognized
from my bed.


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